Whoever keeps trying to change my password, cut it out. This is still an actively used account and the change your password email still comes to me.

I don't do anything by halves. Even jumprope is a full contact sport!

So, I'm eating lunch the other day at this burger joint and they've got a jukebox that no one's put any quarters in so it's on random play.  And this song comes on.  At first, I'm not really listening.  It's pretty straightforward random pop.  But, the lyrics tug at me and I listen for a minute and discover ... well, I just never really expected to hear a song written from the perspective of most of the straight women I sexed up in high school.

Here's the song, if you're interested.  I warn you it's nothing special:

Kate Perry - I kissed a girl (official video)

(Sorry, "Embedding disabled by request" *shrug*)

Hi, and welcome to the Church of the Rope.  We're an evangelical organization centered primarily around the act of jumping rope.  Once a person has taken up the Rope, it is nearly impossible not to share your experience and story with others.

It's a way of life.  You'll love it.

Here at the Church of the Rope we have one sacrament and only three commandments.

The first rule of Jump Rope Club is always talk about Jump Rope Club.

It's true.  If you jump at a gym or other public place, other jumpers will smile at you, wave at you, talk to you.  "How long have you been jumping?"  "I run marathons but I do the rope for cardio on days I don't have time to run."  "I just started this and it's really hard!"  "This is really great for my martial arts because it promotes good cardio and lightness on the feet."  People who've been doing it a while encourage the newbies.  Newbies are pleased and surprised to find other people doing it.  Old hands compare notes on ropes and routines and results.  People who comment on your shape are taken aback by the idea of jumping rope as an exercise for adults.

If you're standing around "the water cooler" at work and talking about working out, you will feel compelled to talk about jumping.  In ways you never talked about the elliptical machine or the treadmill or the stationary bike.  It's more like people who bicycle or run.  It's unusual and people will be interested.  And everyone I know who's been doing it for longer than a few months has real, measurable, results they can show for it.  They feel really good about that and amazed that they got those results considering, in nearly every case, they started without any real commitment to the Rope, itself, and more of a "sure I'll try it, what the hell" attitude.

The second rule of Jump Rope Club is everyone can jump.

Ok, this is not strictly true.  Those of you who have an actual, legitimate reason why you can't jump, know it and know me well enough to know I am not speaking against you when use this language.

Those of you who are rationalizing it, know it.  Since there are a lot more of you rationalizing than the other thing, I'm going to stick with a strong statement of the rule.  A lot of people think they can't jump and it would be too hard and it's too daunting to even start.  Fuck that.  "Everyone" can jump.  Pick a reasonable goal when you start.  Jumping is hard; set yourself up to succeed.

The third rule of Jump Rope Club is the only wrong way to jump is not to jump.

One of my friends started out just trying to do three minutes.  That's it.  No sets, no sit-ups, nothing else.  Just try to make it through three minutes.  One of the jumpers at the gym does it for time.  So, his goal is, like 20 minutes straight, working in some double-time regularly and every once in a while stopping just long enough to catch his breath if he needs it.  I mostly do the sets thing; but sometimes just put on music and jump.  Some people do it at a gym.  Some on their back patio.  Some on their driveway.  Some inside their house.  Some on a mat; some not.

Some folks use PVC ropes.  Some have leather.  Some have those cool beaded ropes like you remember from elementary school.  Some actually have rope jump ropes.  You can use weighted handles, or not.  Trigger handles, or not.  Speed balls, or not.  Some folks keep both feet together and hop.  Some skip.  Some are alternating legs every step (like nearly running in place).  Some do the "boxer's shuffle".  Some work in tricks.  aalauber practically dances through his sessions.

I don't think there's a wrong way to jump; but I'm sure there are many, many right ways.

Welcome.  Come on in.

Jamison:   I really want to know, like, when he said the neighbor's dog told him to kill those people, do you think it was like, laying awake at night and the dog's barking and he thinks he hears messages under/inside that noise; or, like, he walks outside and looks in the neighbor's yard and the dog turns his head towards him and starts just talking right out loud; or, like, he just had a feeling the dog wanted him to do it, like when people say God told them to do something?
Stephanopoulos:  Yeah.  ... .... And how do you even parse that?
Jamison:   Hm?
Stephanopoulos:  Well, you know.  I've had dogs.  They can make it really clear they want you to give them a treat.  But, you know, you just say "no".
Jamison:   Oh.  heh. ... heh heh heh ... Just like every cat will tell you that no one has ever fed them and no one ever pets them.
Stephanopoulos:  Right.  So, why does the dog wanting you to kill people, why is that the thing you listen to?

A while back, I had a dream wherein I was in New York City and some catastrophic natural disaster occurred which caused a lot of buildings and other infrastructure to collapse.  When I extracted myself from the rubble of the building I'd been in, I got a call from NPR.  Since I was a member of their volunteer news organization, and since they had no paid correspondents in New York City that they could reach, they needed me to fill in as their correspondent on the scene for the coverage of this disaster.  So, I did.

When I woke up, I distinctly remembered the part where I signed off:  "For National Public Radio in New York City, this is Jamie Henderson."  And I was immediately struck by the fact that, were I actually an NPR News correspondent, I would probably have the most boring name of any of their anchors, correspondents, or regular commentators.

I was reminded of this by cattycritic today when she posted this pretty awesome link to someone who came up with a formula to generate your NPR News name.

I'm going with Jamiel Culebra.

I've been very up and down lately.  Overall good, I think.

I did recently go out to a !Bachelorette party wearing a reasonably smoking hot little black dress.  I have the Laubers to thank for that on several levels; but not the least of which is they are consummate shopping enablers when I need it.  Not to excess or anything.  Just, you know, when I really shouldn't just be settling for something I've got already that doesn't really fit quite right but looks nice enough, they're there to push me over the edge to STFU and go shopping.  I'll get some pictures sometime and share.  Later.  I don't have it back from the dry cleaners yet.

Anyway, the night out with ladies was lots of fun.  I met some interesting new folks and had some nice conversation and got to oggle mal and got to dress up in a little black dress and high heels and go out dancing and have an overall fabulous time.  Thanks so much to ms_ariel, again on many levels.

In other news, I am embarrassed to report that I no longer have any idea where my serious drinking limit is and it has moved since the last time I gave it any regular testing.  Many people have told me this happens when you get older.  To them I say:  Pfffffft!  ...and I also point out that I just don't really drink seriously anymore.  I know plenty of people my age who never stopped serious drinking and whose limits don't seem to be lowering.  I think it's probably some combination of lots of things.  Like everything.  Anyway, thanks so much to the friends and loved ones who took truly excellent care of me. 

Speaking of aalauber, we are still jumping rope.  And loving it.  And loving what it does for us.  I've gone down another pants size since November and need to get new pants again.  However, my weight seems pretty stable lately.  So, I think I've hit the 'this is how much I weigh eating like I do and getting the amount of exercise I am' weight.  I'm shockingly pleased with it; so I'm not looking to make any changes.  Well, not because of weight/how I look.  Having got to the point were I can sort of casually knock out a reasonably good workout, I find that I like it.  I almost always get a workout in on the weekend, even though it's not officially scheduled.  I nearly always make up any workouts that end up getting skipped due to scheduling, migraines, or just More Important To Me things.

I'm also strangely tickled every time one of my friends tells me they're trying out The Rope.  That's so awesome.  Go!  Go!  Go!  Any of you thinking about it, I still stand by my post on the matter.  As I post new things on the subject in my LJ, here, I keep it edited so all the basic info is in one place.  So, feel free to pass that on to anyone who's interested.

I'm also continually happy to discover how many people who thought it would be uncomfortable or bad for them, who then give it a try anyway, then find it didn't bother them like they thought it would.  And in how many different ways.  This includes me (due to kind of squishy left knee).  Running hurt.  Jumping rope rocks.  But runs a whole gamut of things from 'just to out of shape' to physical disablities.  I think that's totally cool.

And those of you who hate it and are finding other things:  Go!  Go!  Go!   I am a fanatic; but not a fundamentalist.  There can be other workouts. :D

I had a really long Plot Dream the other night which I remembered very well when I woke from it.  And I also sat there and told myself the story of the dream, to make sure I'd remember it.  Usually the process of telling myself the story of the dream points out the fact that I cannot really remember the dream at all already.  But, that night I could remember a whole story.  I thought this would surely mean I'd remember it later.

I don't.

What I do remember is that one of the characters was a human, but they were really an ancient two-headed dragon.  There are not specific details on how this worked physically/spiritually/logistically, but there was one detail that I remember for sure:  each head had it's own brain and personality and so on.  So this person was very smart and wise due to having the combined intelligence and wisdom of two ancient dragons.

Last night I had a very long dream about Sippel House.  Apparently, I was in some kind of negotiations with them to join them.  Some of these negotiations were purely logistic (was I keeping my place, should we all find a new place, do I require my own room, etc.) and some of them were emotional (there was some current thorn just amongst themselves (I don't remember what) and maybe it needed to be worked out before we really had this conversation, did everyone actually agree or were some people just going along because other people felt strongly, etc.).  It was a funny thing to wake from because it was so full of emotions which don't exist in the Real World.  (At least, far as I know, no one in Sippel house is dating me without my knowledge!)

I also had a dream that was pretty obviously inspired by the last night's viewing of Quantum of Solace.  It was all secret agents and killing people who were trying to kill me and hiding the bodies.

Dunno if it'll last; but I've been thinking lately that I used to write reviews and I haven't for a while and so here is a review and maybe there will be more and maybe there won't.

The Midnight Meat Train is an American horror movie directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, based on a short story of the same name by Clive Barker.  Sorry, according to the trailer it's not merely by Clive Barker, it's from the "legendary mind of Clive Barker".  Right.  I used to be a pretty big fan of Barker's and even at the height of my fangirlitude, I'm pretty sure I never thought of him or his mind as "legendary".

Anyway, the rest of this review contains spoilers if you've neither read the story nor seen the movie.  For those of you who think movie reviews should be spoiler free, stop reading after this paragraph.  I need to talk about the movie as a whole in order to explain what I did and didn't like, and that includes the ending.  Those of you not sure if you want to see the movie, I'd say that most of you don't.  A few of you like splatter/horror and/or B movies and probably should see it for yourself, just so you can form your own opinion and because I still think Kitamura has potential to become a really good director.

( Long review with spoilers in here )

So, overall, a very uneven film.  I really want to like Kitamura's movies.  Even this one I definitely enjoyed parts of.  But it was really too all over the place and didn't hang together at all.  I'd give it two stars out of five.

I know it's been a while.  For the most part, this is due to the fact things didn't really change much for a few months there.  Once every four weeks I'd go in, a very nice Hive Lady would "activate" my wires which is their very nice Hive Language for "use pliers to connect a wire going across all my front-ish teeth to a hooks on my second to back molars until the springs in the front-ish wires were open.  Things would be hurt-y for about a week during which the teeth would all move around to close up the gaps from where I got four teeth pulled a year ago, thus closing the springs.  Then things would be sort of normal for a few weeks.  And back I'd go.

The gaps from the pulled teeth are getting very close to closed.  They're current the perfect size for large pieces of meat to get wedged in them.

Last time I went in, they noticed, though, that there were starting to be noticeable spaces between my molars.  So, instead of connecting to hooks on second to back molars, they connected to hooks on the last molars.  Which makes for more, longer connector wires, which go in front of the bands and crap attached to the bands around the second to back molars.  There are a lot of little, baroque, wirey things interacting back there catching food in about three new and exciting ways.  Worse, some of them are intricately curly-cued around and with each other enough that simply brushing my teeth doesn't always get even large pieces of food out of them.  So, now I can't just brush my teeth after lunch and do Serious Cleaning after dinner.  I've got to have a bristle-brush thingy at work along with my toothbrush just to get enough crap out of my teeth to keep me from going insane and murderating all of my coworkers.

It's all mild irritations, really.  Mostly.

In other news, the orthdontist took a long look at things with an eye to timing for my jaw surgery.  And he was, basically, like, "I know back in the Fall I said 'March'; but, really, to be safe, I'm thinking another six months."  And I was like, "so, August timeframe?".  And he was like, "yeah."  And I laughed and told him that was his original estimate and he laughed and said he should have just stuck with it.  And how we all laughed.

So, yeah, I'm not having my face cut in half and put back together in a new and more optimal position until the end of the summer.  Actually, given the timing on some other stuff happening around then, I might not do it until late September.  On the one hand, Yay!  No scary surgery in the near future.  On the other hand ... well, you know, it might be nice to have it over with.

I hate trimming my fingernails.  I don't like my nails to get long; but I really dislike the act of trimming them.  I don't like, of all the foolish things, the time it takes.  I don't like how some of the trimmings fly all over the place and must be chased.  I don't like how the ones that do go quietly into the sink feel when I am gathering them up with my fingertips.  Especially if it turns out there was some water down there by the drain so they're damp, too.

It's such a minor thing.  It's ridiculous.  I mean ... the time?  How long does it even take?  Nevertheless, I don't like it.

I love when the clouds sit right on top of the treetops. Over Los Altos Hills, the clouds often sort of roll in like a liquid flowing over the hills. The rainbow, of course, is just added magic -- to steal someone else's phrase.

So, um, yeah. I was driving on El Camino Real and I notice that the truck ahead of the car in front of me is sporting a head on a spike. The bed of the truck had some tools and stuff, like they were some kind of contractor, or maintenance service, or something.

There are piles of these things popping up all over Los Altos. It's pretty wet here in the winter. Not, you know, Pacific Northwest West, but pretty wet. Anyway, I just liked that they grow in these jumbled piles like this.

So, a coworker, hearing me preach the gospel of the Rope, pointed me at ringside.com wherein I found the Jump Rope Mat.

I am now considering the relative merits of this versus my yoga mat I use when working out at home.  It looks a lot smoother and one of the problems I've had with the mat recently is that it is sticky enough to make "speed" too slow and I trip a lot.  I kind of totally want one of these.  And I kind of think $40 is a lot to spend on jumping rope especially now I largely go to a gym to do my workout.  Still kind of want.  *waffle*

Los Altos, California:  A place where you can pay 20 bucks for two orders of fish and chips and two cokes, sit at a table outside in the sun wearing an unzipped fleece jacket on the 27th of December, and listen to passers by reprimand their children in at least six languages.

So, I thought of a couple of things I should have included in the original post.  I'm going to include them in the original post, too, so it's all in one place; but for those of you who've already read it, I'm going to write them here first, so you don't have to dig through the whole other post looking for the updates.


ROPES

It turns out, my PVC jump rope is 9 feet long.  All of them are at the sports stores and stuff, unless they're for kids.  Don't worry about this.  They're all adjustable, too.  There are various sites on the Internet that will give you advice on correct rope length.  I don't think I've discovered anything particularly useful on this topic.  I haven't adjusted my 9 foot rope; neither has Rth adjusted his, and he's about 5 inches taller than I.



SHOES

You really must wear shoes.  Mine are cross-trainers.  I'm betting anything you've got from court shoes, to cross trainers, to something made for aerobics, to running shoes will be great.  Just make sure they're properly supportive shoes for moving around for you.


SUPPORTIVE WEAR

( I am the kind of woman who believes in a good sports bra... )

I've had several questions about my workout routine, kinds of jump ropes, etc. recently, and have been somewhat remiss in answering in a timely manner.  So, here's a post all about the safe for primetime ways I get sweaty, and the equipment I bring to that table.


CREDIT

( So, first, credit where credit is due. )

So, credit goes to Sifu Adrian, Andan, Lisa, and dental torture.


THE ROUTINE

In the beginning, it was a very slightly modified copy from Sifu Adrian:

• 3 minutes of jumping rope - last 30 seconds are "speed", which means double-time
• 1 minute of sit-ups - we did the cross punching kind where you situp, right hook, left hook
• 3 minutes of jumping rope - last 30 seconds are "speed"
• 1 minute of sit-ups - any style
• 3 minutes of jumping rope - last 30 seconds are "speed"

( That's it )


ROPES

( I had an old rope jump rope )

All of this is to say:  Your mileage may vary ... a lot.

As far as I can tell, most jump ropes are pretty cheap and so it's not a huge investment to try a couple.  But, also, it seems like the most widely used/available ones are the PVC ones so if you really have no idea what you'd like, I'd say start with one of those.  I also think that you can't avoid buying a 9 foot rope; so, start with that.   They're all adjustable; but, none of us have adjusted ours as far as I know and there's a five inch difference in height between me and rth.


TUNES

In my opinion, working out is deathly boring.  I require something to distract from the fact that three minutes is for-fucking-ever if all you're doing is jumping up and down and waiting for three minutes to be done.  I'm pretty sure you can figure this part out on your own.  I will say that Andan put together some pretty great mixes of industrial-ish music for this purpose.  More about that in the next section.


TIMERS

( So, you need something to tell you how long three minutes is )


SHOES

You really must wear shoes.  Mine are cross-trainers.  I'm betting anything you've got from court shoes, to cross trainers, to something made for aerobics, to running shoes will be great.  Just make sure they're properly supportive shoes for moving around for you.


SUPPORTIVE WEAR

( I am the kind of woman who believes in a good sports bra... )


SOME TIPS

( I totally and completely sucked )

Most of you can do this, really.


CONCLUSION

Sorry for the somewhat evangelizing tone which developed, there at the end.  I am not usually the type to get a new Thing and then to excitedly tell everyone not only about how excited I am about it but also how THEY should try it.  But, actually, I know tons and tons of people who are unhappy or just concerned about their weight, or health, or both.  And I really think jumping rope is a great way to address either or both.  I understand that not everyone can -- that there are people with physical conditions which do completely preclude something like jumping up and down.  So, I know it's not for everyone.  But, all the rest of y'all should consider it.  Totally.

This Monday was the one in every four in which I go to the orthodontist and some attractive, simply but nicely dressed, female Hive member puts all kinds of cool metal implements into my mouth and causes me about a week of some amount of pain.  They're very nice and very cheerful and seem very good at their jobs.

Last month I think I got their weakest member and she was still great.  But my teeth hardly hurt at all after she was done; so I knew she didn't pull on the wires as hard as she probably should have.

This month I got the one I think of as the best.  She did an excellent job and here it is Tuesday afternoon and I'm still feeling whiny about how my mouth hurts.

I talked to Dr. Ross, the leader of the Hive, about the news I'd had from Dr. Riley about my surgery date being moved up by, like, half a year.  He said that there are things that can be done either before or after the surgery; so March is the earliest for surgery but that if I really wanted to delay things I could and we'd just work on some of those things before, rather than after.  That all makes sense, I guess.  I do feel a bit like these things are a little bit not entirely explained and that, possibly, this is on purpose.

But, all in all, it seems like good news that things are moving along well and I indicated to Dr. Ross that I like the idea of going ahead and getting it over with and all that.  He told me how smart and brave I am.  See what a nice place it is?

So, I think I've mentioned how fond I am of jumping rope and how awesome it's been for my overall physical fitness as well as weight loss. Here's the traditional weight loss picture of me in pants that fit me well in January.

I'm glad I did this. The difference is huge and the pants feel like some kind of joke. I don't feel that different to myself; but it must have felt different to move through the world in that different shape.

I was wearing these pants until about August of this year, when I went shopping and got some clothes that fit me. I went shopping again last weekend with the lovely Lauber clan. The pants I'd bought in August were noticeably more "relaxed fit" than when I got them and all my other pants had moved into the realm of not even wearable with a belt. I'd dropped another size. For the record, I cannot afford to drop a size every quarter. I don't make that kind of dough.

Possibly related, but possibly not, Andan and I went to give blood recently, as is our want. I got rejected for not having a high enough hemoglobin count. The Blood Center tech said this happens to people all the time, even folks who regularly give and usually don't have any problems. But, it's never happened to me before and I've been giving blood regularly for years. The tech said that changes in exercise programs can affect it; but I haven't really changed mine recently. But, I wonder if just changing size and shape can change your chemistry somehow. Or your metabolism? I dunno.

Andan, of course, is always the perfect blood donor and had great health stats and produced his in donation record time.